I can’t even tell you how fucking lucky I felt today. In one day, Hayley was mine; she stood up for me, and took me away from my pathetic overrated family, because she’s selfless and absolutely the most incredible women I could ever be with. I was beginning to think that Paramore is my family haha, as stupid and cheesy as that sounds. Though, if I was having a problem or needed help, any one of them would do it, maybe even all at once. They were amazing people. Even Josh was starting to turn around. So, today I had zero feelings of guilt for leaving my family. Mostly because it was for Hayley.
Obviously, I was still going to live with Taylor, cause if I didn’t I’d turn into a complete girl. Yes, I did want to spend every second with Hayley… but I wondered if just moving right in together would hurt our chances, especially after being on tour together. But, tonight I wanted to stay at her house, because we still had more making out to do before tomorrow. And that is all I thought about until we got to Nashville, basically just all about her.
She had the biggest smile on her face on the plane, “I can’t believe I get to take my girlfriend on tour with me.”
“Awww yes you do! I might end up killing your ex boyfriend,” I laughed, thinking about being stuck with Josh for a month.
“Luckily, he stays in the background. So you could come everywhere with me,” she smiled again and kissed me.
I laughed, “Isn’t that a bit dangerous,” we kissed again.
She thought for a second, “Ummm yeah probably… maybe you can go with the guys sometimes…”
“That’d be for the best haha…”
There was so much sexual tension between us today; everyone on the fucking plane could probably feel it. We wanted each other, to say the least, and I couldn’t believe she felt it too. It started this morning. This morning, we realized so, so many feelings that neither of us knew we could ever feel. It was incredible. I knew resisting was the only battle now, but waiting until we were sure was important too; because once I started, I couldn’t stop.
When we got to her house, she started helping me practice guitar. I’ve been practicing their set list for 3 weeks, nearly every day, and I was getting much more confident with my talent. She never stopped complimenting or helping me, and that’s probably why I was getting good in the first place. Plus, Taylor’s help was incredible. I was also realizing, Hayley, Taylor, and Jeremy worked harder than anyone else in the band… and the four of us got along better when Josh and Zac weren’t around. It made me realize, Josh was dumping all the work on the three of them, and removing Zac from everything as well.
“Why is Josh so intent on me being in the band?”
“I have no idea… he never mentioned that. It’s weird isn’t it? At first he’s calling me suggestive names for liking you and then he just switches. He might be up to something.”
“Or he’s just changed and sees how happy we are together…”
She laughed sarcastically, “He’s way too stubborn for that,” her phone rang, “Speaking of…” Josh and Hayley talked like they were friends again, for awhile… until the tone immediately changed, and I could tell something was really really wrong. She got really angry and started yelling every name in the book at him. I didn’t have any idea of what to do, because I wanted them to sort it out, but once she started crying I had to step in.
I sat next to her on the couch and held her, “What’s wrong?!”
She hung up immediately, “He’s a fucking dickhead! He used the extra
spot we had left open for you to come on tour for his fucking girlfriend,” she started shaking, “What the fuck?!”
“What the hell? Why would he do that?”
“Because he’s selfish. The only way you could come is if you drove, and we wouldn’t even get to see each other then,” she pressed into me, “I don’t know what to do.”
“I wish I knew baby,” I kissed her head.
“I do. Fucking kick him out and let you play rhythm guitar.”
I laughed, “Can you even do that?”
“Yes I can…” she sat up, thinking.
“Hayley no… I don’t want to be Yoko, honestly.”
“You aren’t,” she grabbed my face, “We need a change, a big change. Taylor, Jeremy, and I need you in this band. You saved the band, not broke it up.”
“Do it now then,” I said before kissing her.
“In a second.” She pushed me back against the arm of the couch and straddled me, wrapping her arms around my neck, “I love you so much,” she said with her lips inches from mine.
“I love you too, so much Hayley. And, I kinda love this position we’re in…”
She laughed and pressed against me, “You’re so damn perfect.”
As I feared, we got distracted with making out instead of Hayley calling the manager and Josh. I didn’t even know what time it was. I couldn’t even remember how we got here. All I could think about was her kissing the fuck out of me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I hope I can repeat it, because holy fuck this was incredible. But, I was getting worried about the turnout, what if it was too late to make any changes? What if I had to stay and be away from her like Josh said? Fuck. I knew why Hayley got distracted, one it was on purpose, and two she knew it wasn’t going to happen so easily and she wanted to utilize the time we had left together.
So I did not ruin our night together, I couldn’t. Hayley had my hips pinned down against the couch with hers, which made it fucking hard to keep any control I had left. And, the kissing started to speed up, and god only knows why. She started kissing me really hard and running her hands up and down my neck. So I started running my hands up and down her hips, pushing on them a little more every time I went down and back up. Then, her hands slid down my shoulders, chest, and stomach to the bottom of my shirt. That’s when I decided the couch wasn’t right for what’s about to happen.
I said nothing, as words could never describe how I felt at the moment, and I didn’t want to ruin the element of surprise. I wanted this to be slow, I wanted to enjoy every second, because it could be the last for a long time. Right now, I saw Hayley differently than I ever have. I saw her as my girlfriend, the woman I had to protect, the women I had to make happy, and the girl who’d do the same for me. Sex wasn’t ever a big deal to me, until I found her. Before her, love and sex had never existed together in my life; it was all fun and games for the other girls. But now, it was a need, it was fulfilling both of our needs, and even our dreams. I wanted to show her how I felt, because I was done talking. But, Hayley is NEVER done talking.
We stood in her very girly bathroom, which didn’t really catch my eye as she was looking up at me, her arms around my neck, and her face inches from mine, “I’ve never felt like this in my whole entire life,” she said, sounding serious.
“Neither have I, Hayley. Are you sure about this?”
“Not entirely. It seems kind of the wrong time. What’s going to happen if we do, and then I leave?”
I thought for a second, “Fuck.”
She backed away and turned around, “Fuck I ruined it already. I’m so sorry Riley.”
I grabbed her quickly and pulled her into me, “No. Don’t say that.
There’s a reason we need to wait, and God only knows that reason. But, I’m willing to wait as long as it takes to have you.”
She closed her eyes and leaned against me, “I’m so in love with you.”
“I’m so in love with you too Hayley,” I hugged her as tight as I could.
“I’m going to shower,” she said turning around, “I want you to come anyway.”
“Whatever you want,” I smiled, kissing her softly as we started undressing.
I tried to keep my eyes to myself, undressing as fast as I could, but since my mind knew what Hayley was doing it couldn’t ignore it. She had her back to me as she unclasped her bra, making me jealous of her own hands. Holding back was going to be harder than I thought. Her skin had a pinkish yet pale shade to it, making it look irresistibly soft. I did not know if I could handle her turning around, so I made sure she didn’t; I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her hips, kissing her neck. Already, the feeling of her warm, soft, and bare body against me turned me on, unfortunately. I lifted her into the shower after it warmed up. I stayed behind her, and buried my head down into her neck, avoiding the beautiful sight of all of her. And, I think she was doing the same.
“This isn’t helping…” I could hear the weakness in her voice, giving me the chills.
“I agree… let’s just see what happens. Let me help you hehe,” I laughed evilly and softly kissed her neck while reaching forward and grabbing the soap.
“You want me to really help,” I asked, sliding one hand down to her waist, rubbing softly, “Fuck you’re so soft baby.”
She moaned, “Baby I need you. I can’t wait over a month,” she turned around, quickly pulling my hips against hers as we slammed into the wall.
I moaned too, “Oh fuck,” my knees got weak.
Immediately, my attention was directed down towards her body, and my knees and control seemed to get weaker. She had the most flawless, perfectly toned, and proportionate body I could ever get lucky enough to see, touch, and even taste. Everything about her was perfect and so, so beautiful. I started kissing her hard with our bodies completely pressed together, water slowly tracing down us. It felt fucking indescribable. I could feel her nipples against the bottom of my chest. I could feel her hips against mine. Her smooth legs. She started running her hands up and down my back, slowly and carefully. I slid my hands down her shoulders, down her chest, letting one rest over her left breast. She was soft and everything you’d imagine her boobs being, seriously who hasn’t thought about doing this? Every time she moaned, kissed me back, or touched me, it was a brand new feeling, and fucking incredible. Before I went farther, I had to tell her why I was doing this.
“I love you so much,” god her eyes never looked so beautiful.
“I love you too so much. Let’s go to my bed baby,” she said before kissing me, opening her mouth a little bit.
“That was fucking hot,” I said picking her up and carrying her out as I turned the shower off.
I shoved her against the wall as our kissing increased into lustily making out. Her hands tangled in my hair, her legs tangled around my body, we were about to explode. She dropped her legs and pushed out against me towards the bed. We scampered back to it and fell back as I pulled her on top of me. I immediately grabbed the inside of her thigh and started rubbing as she kept kissing me. Our bodies were still wet from the shower, but soon the water would be replaced with sweat. We sped up even more as I slid back against the pillows; she straddled me, and tucked her head into my neck as she started kissing it. Then, I slid my hand up the inside up her thigh, resting my palm on it, stretching my middle finger up to her clit. I started touching her, trying to be gentle but keep a fast pace as she wanted. She whimpered and started squirming a little bit. I enjoyed the view of her being on top of me, but for best results, I shoved her on her back and slid on top of her. I started kissing her neck all over and kept rubbing her as much as I could with my other hand pinning her hips to the bed.
Even though our actions at the moment were pretty intense, I wanted to double that towards what I really, really wanted to do to her. Now, the view of her under me was beautiful as well, but I had much more to focus on. I kept kissing her neck, listening to her breathe and whimper basically into my ear. I slid my fingers down from her clit, noticing she was absolutely soaking wet, not to mention incredibly warm. I slid them into her, and she instantly reacted with a moan and a squirm under my other hand. God it felt so good to feel that she wanted me.
“Don’t stop baby, please,” she pleaded.
“God I never want to,” I kissed to her lips.
“I don’t either. I love you, so so much.”
“I love you too so fucking much.”
We kept kissing, holding a single kiss as I started rubbing the top wall of her as gently as I could. She started moaning into my mouth as she wrapped her legs around my back. Then she started gripping the sheets and rocking her hips back and forth as she started to lose control. We were both making sounds I didn’t even know either of us would end up making tonight. It felt absolutely incredible to have her tense around me and have her pressing her entire body including her lips against mine. There’s nothing more incredible than this.
“Oh my fucking god,” she said as I slid to the slid of her and held her. She was still shaking and sweating. God she looked more beautiful than ever. “You’re amazing,” she turned on her side and kissed my chest. “But now it’s my turn,” she grinned.
“Oh god, really?”
She straddled me, “Yes really,” she whispered against my neck as she kissed it softly.
“Oh god Hayley I won’t last long.”
“That’s the point,” she slid her hand down to my waist.
In 4 hours, Hayley and I had completely worn each other out. Now we were lying on her bed, cuddling, still breathing heavily and trying to cool down. It was very frustrating and amazing at the same time, because after everything she did to me, I still wanted her. After all the touching, kissing, licking, oh god and sucking, I still managed to want us to do that all over again. I’d never felt anything like this in my whole entire life. I knew it wouldn’t go away, not with how much I loved her and how beautiful, hot, sexy, cute, evil, and gorgeous she was. And I didn’t mind it.
She laughed, “Holy fuck what happened?” She sat up, hugging the sheets.
“Yeah we kinda went animal there…”
“I didn’t know we had that in us,” I laughed, putting my shirt back on.
She pulled me back down beside her and cuddled me hard, “Why are you putting clothes back on?!?”
“I… don’t know. Haha habit I guess.”
“Well stop it,” she took my shirt back off and pulled my head against her chest. “Clothes are optional in my house,” she laughed, rubbing my back.
“God I love you,” I snuggled up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
She kissed my head and squeezed me, “I love you too so, so much Riley. I can’t believe I have to leave in 3 hours.”
“Yeah I can’t either. Wish I had the money to follow you guys,” I kissed her shoulder.
“Yeah. But, being around Josh and his bitch would be bad,” she laughed, “You got some practicing to do anyway.”
“I would probably kill them.”
“I probably will actually,” I kissed her forehead, “Get some sleep baby.”
I couldn’t leave Riley, yet leave her alone with an apartment and a house to watch over. I didn’t even want to leave in this first place, but touring was part of the job and the fans needed us. At least Ri understood that. But, still it wasn’t enough for me to even feel remotely comfortable leaving. I had 3 and a half hours before I had to leave, and I already knew the person who’d be perfect to hang out and take care of my girl while I’m gone. Riley was passed out, so I slid out as sneakily as I good and put her shirt on, which I would be keeping because it smelled so incredible. I didn’t care if it was like 4 in the morning, this was an emergency.
“Hayley what the hell are you doing,” Dak asked when she answered.
“I need a huge favor… my um girlfriend is going to be alone at my house and T’s apartment. I leave for tour tomorrow and she needs help.”
“Your girlfriend?! Holy shiiiiiiit! That’s amazing Hayley!”
I laughed, “I know. We’re uh in love… so I need you to look after her for me. Please please Dak?”
“Alright, I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.”
“Thanks bitch,” I laughed before hanging up.
Now that I got that sorted, time for my limited amount of sleep for that last time with Riley. I slid in behind her and wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could. Tonight was the last night for awhile we’d be able to do this, and to be honest, I wanted to cry because of it. Being away from her would be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I am so in love with her, and I barely even know what real love is. It’s insane, but so incredible. Hopefully, we can survive the distance and come out stronger than before. And, maybe Dak and she will get along, without making me jealous.
Jake and Jen came home while Hayley was still asleep, so I snuck out and went to go supervise, but mostly hang out with the two best teenagers ever. Of course, they were cuddled up on the couch, making jokes and being cute. They reminded me of Hayley and me, but hopefully way less serious and with no complications.
“Hey guys,” I said sitting in the chair, “How was school?”
Jenny smiled, “It was alright, but we made it through. I’m so glad to be here! I missed you two, and Hayley of course.”
“Yeah Jenny tackled me at lunch, it was embarrassing haha. now they think we’re going out or something.”
“Just ignore them! I’m glad you’re here too Jenny, so Jake can stop moping around the house.”
“Awww he missed me,” she smiled as I saw Jake blush.
“Uh is that Josh,” Jake asked, making my head whip around to look around out the window.
“Yes it is. I swear, if he rings the fucking doorbell, I will kill him.”
“Ahh he sounds like an ass, I know what you should do. Make him jealous until he gets really angry, like if he rings the doorbell I can tell him you and Hayley are sleeping and I’ll wink,” Jenny said laughing.
“Do you really think it’ll work?”
“Yes, he’s immature and weak,” Jake said. “I can help by making noise in the background too!”
I laughed at this whole plan, “This is thee most perverted plan made up by thirteen year olds I’ve ever heard. Alright, do it. I mean.. not literally. You know what I mean.”
I went into the bedroom and curled up around Hayley, smiling as she instantly snuggled into me and she smiled. I heard Jake making squeak noises by jumping on the couch and mumbling from Josh. It was so hard not to laugh, but I really did want this to work..
“What the fuck is that sound,” Hayley asked, sounding groggy.
“It’s Jake and Jen, well their plan,” I laughed.
“You’re letting THEM have SEX?”
“NO, it’s a joke, it’s supposed to be us to make Josh jealous!”
“Ohhh,” she laughed, “I can’t leave you three alone with my ex boyfriends can I,” she smiled before kissing me softly.
“Nope, we’re too protective and territorial of you to let exs in,” I laughed, “And, Josh deserves it for being an ass.”
“Awww you’re so sweet,” she said curling up on me.
I held her, “I just can’t let anyone hurt you.”
She turned on her stomach to face me, “Wow. I’ve never had anyone make me speechless,” her hands slid up to my neck.
“You do it to me everyday,” I said before kissing her forehead.
She slid up even more, pressing her body down against mine as she kissed me hard until I couldn’t breathe. Her hands began sliding up and down my chest as I shifted and sat up a little bit, pulling her legs forward so she straddled me. Then, I slid my hands up her shirt, touching up and down her sides. We kept kissing harder and harder as she began to press up against me harder and tangle her hand into my hair. I was completely lost in us making out to realize that anything around us was happening. I just wanted her. I slid my hand down her stomach and I felt her incredible abs press against it, and then slowly unbuttoned her pants and almost slid my hand farther down.
“Hayley, what’s going on,” a very, very annoying voice said from behind us. Somehow I then ended up on the floor and Hayley freaking out and sounding nervous.
“Uhh mom what are you doing here…? I thought you were in LA,” oh fuck it’s her mom. This is the most fucking awkward thing ever.
“Honey, I left a message on your phone telling you I’d be here today… apparently I’ve missed quite a lot.”
“Shit, I thought that was Josh’s message,” Hayley said pulling me up and giving me an apologetic look. “Uh mom.. this is my girlfriend, Caitlin,” she said wrapping her arms around my sides.
“I’m sorry we had to meet on such awkward terms.. It’s nice to meet you Caitlin,” I think everyone in this house was nervous. ‘Hayley has told me a lot about you!”
“Wow, um thanks. I’m not as good as she says,” I laughed.
Hayley smacked me, “Shut up. Let’s go see Jake and Jenny.”
To be honest, I’ve never done the whole “meet the parents” thing. I was practically shaking on the inside, but forced to keep my composure in front of everyone, thank god. I felt honored though, that Hayley actually planned on telling her family that I am her girlfriend. It felt so official and real now, like she really did love me too. And, her mom was surprisingly accepting of the whole thing and couldn’t wait to see us in action in Hesitate. It was really nice to be accepted by another person in Hayley’s life.
After Jen and Hayley’s mom left, the three of us had dinner together, making jokes about random crap like we usually do. This is when it really feels like a family. I mean, how many families go through everything we’ve been through and make it passed everything with no problems because we just love each other? God, I am so, so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life. Forgetting about Josh and not getting anytime to have Hayley to myself was hard, but it was easier when Hayley and Jake were so happy.
“Catie, you were amazing today,” Hayley said as we undressed and got into bed.
We instantly cuddled as I covered us up, “Anything for you, because you deserve it.”
“Sometimes I wonder how I got this lucky,” she said looking away, biting her lip and grabbing my hand.
“We both never saw it coming. We’re both lucky Hayley, not just you. Do you think I planned all of this?”
“Well, no. But, I’m afraid you’re getting the bad end of the deal because of all the drama in my life and all the work and stuff.”
“No, because it’s not just your life anymore. It’s ours. You never have to go through anything alone again Hayley, because I love you, so so much,”
She kissed me deeply, “You’re right, I’m sorry. Just give me some time to get used to this. I love you too so, so much.”
“I bet you’re still exhausted,” I said before kissing her again, and then we nuzzled softly.
“Yeah I am, but tomorrow night maybe a different story hehe.”
“I see, I can’t wait for that, but let’s get some sleep baby,” I said holding her closer.
“You’re perfect,” she smiled and turned over as we spooned and left no space between us.
“Baby wake up,” Hayley said breathing heavily while kissing my neck all over. “I need you,” she moaned while grinding against my hand. I could feel how wet and burning hot she was just from her grinding against me. I was kind of in a daze, but I knew she needed me and I needed her.
I pushed her gently on her back while I slid on top of her and we began kissing really really fast and hard. She slid off my underwear and began touching all over the backside of my body while I slid my down her incredibly soft skin, over her clit that quickly throbbed against my finger. Then, I entered her and quickly shoved my fingers deeper as she moaned my name loudly. I was so fucking turned on and it just felt like I needed her touching me, so I started grinding my clit against her hip as hard as I could as we kept kissing while we continually moaned over and over. I could barely stand how good it felt, but I couldn’t give in this easily.
I picked her up, quickly pulling us to the wall and shoved her against it, not letting my fingers out of her. I slid them as deep as I could while I watched her eyes close and I could tell she was beyond turned on at this point. I began heightening the pace and intensity, shoving my body against hers, but leaving inches between our hips so I could start moving my fingers more. I started sliding my fingers in and out of her very hard and deep, but slow at the start. It was incredible when I felt her muscles tighten, trying to keep my fingers inside, but I didn’t stop. Instead, I let the speed increase almost as much as possible.
“Oh fuck baby don’t stop, I’m so close,” she said barely breathing as she gripped my shoulders, digging the tips of her fingers softly into them.
“God I couldn’t if I wanted to,” I said before kissing her harder, licking her lips as she moaned.
I kept going harder and faster as I stretched my thumb up to her clit and began rubbing it gently. She was almost screaming as I felt her start to orgasm around my fingers unbelievably hard. She was shaking as she continually moaning my name and grinding her hips against mine. I held her up as she continued to shake harder and harder and I kept rubbing her clit deeper and deeper until she went into another harder orgasm. She kissed me hard before biting my lips softly. Her eyes finally opened after at least 20 minutes and she slid her legs back down to the floor.
“You’re fucking incredible. But it’s my turn now,” she said grinning and pushing me on the edge of the bed.
She got on her knees in front of me as I tried to prepare for what she was about to do, but that was fucking impossible. She started licking me really fucking hard, over and over until I couldn’t stand it. I stayed strong and tried with everything I had to make this last awhile, but it felt more incredible than anything I’ve ever felt. I knew I was being way, way too loud, but that couldn’t be helped. Holy fuck, she just kept going faster and harder until there was no way I could stay strong.
“Oh fuck baby,” I said when she slid up next to me, going through a hard withdraw.
“You taste absolutely incredible,” she said before kissing me hard.
“I can’t wait to taste you.”
Soon after we were both on our way to passing out, because we were exhausted to an unbelievable point. I couldn’t move, breathe, or think and I didn’t want to do anything but hold her. Finally, we got to do what we needed to do with absolutely no interruptions or problems. I knew the rest of the day would be a different story, but it wouldn’t be long before I needed her again. I still felt turned on, and knew it would always last. And that was okay, just as long as Josh stays out of my way.
I woke up late, missing Jake leaving for school, but I knew he was good enough on his own. My head felt like it wasn’t attached to my body. The way Hayley made me feel was incredible and something that never seemed possible. No one’s ever done anything close to that to me, and its best since it was her. Hayley looked incredible, completely naked and curled up against me. She was warm and soft. Today, all I could think about was tasting her.
Hayley began to stir as I was getting hungry and my stomach probably growled loud enough for the neighbors could hear it. She smiled and giggled, kissing me softly and then running her hand up my stomach. She was being cute, like always. She was perfect, even more so today than yesterday.
“I love you,” she said smiling and pressing against me.
“I love you too,” I kissed her softly, holding her lips in mine.
“I think you’re going to eat me if I don’t make you some food,” she laughed and hugged me.
“How about we do both..”
“Why are you so fucking hot,” she asked, pulling me on top of her gently.
She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her hands on my back as we started making out deeply. She wrapped her legs around mine as I slid my hands up to her neck, rubbing it softly as we kissed harder. Her hips started moving against mine which felt incredible. This was amazing, but I knew I needed more of her. I began kissing from her lips, down her neck and to the center of her chest. I then kissed to one side all the way down to her nipple. She moaned when I kissed it, putting it between my lips.
“If you stop Catie, I swear I will kill you,” she said, sounding like she was hyperventilating.
I decided to speed things up and lick down her stomach and waist and quickly making it down to her clit. She was already about to lose control, so I kept going harder and harder. She tasted incredible, making it impossible to stop. Then, like I knew it would, the doorbell ran at the mark of 10 in the morning. She growled at the doorbell like a dog, starting to shake. I swear whoever was ringing the doorbell was going to be killed.
“One day, you and I are running, far, far away,” Hayley said getting up as we put our clothes back on, “And, not coming back for a long ass time,” she said before kissing me. “Um, it’s some lady,” she said before opening the door.
“Um, hi. I’m Zoey, I’m looking for Jake,” she said sounding really nervous and tired.
“He’s at school… why do you want him,” Hayley said protectively. Aww.
“I’m Jake’s God Mother and legal guardian..” I said, sliding my hand into Hayley’s.
“Not anymore you aren’t,” she said biting her lip and handing me papers.
What the fuck?